Maybe I'm Not So Weird

We went on vacation last week. It was our annual trip to Schiltterbahn, the coolest water park ever. But that's another post.

Anyway, I'm a bit of germaphobe. Ok, I'm a lot of a germaphobe, and my condition gets worse the older I get. My germaphobia rises to a whole new level of crazy when we step foot in a hotel because hotels, even the nice ones, just gross me out.

I take a container of Lysol wipes with me when we travel.  Before anyone can touch anything (and after checking the beds for bed bugs), I wipe down everything. I sanitize the light switches, the tv remote, the toilet seat, the telephone, all the door handles, the thermostat, the desk, the faucets and the bathroom counters.  If I could, I'd steam clean the carpet before my family came in the room, but that's just not practical. I do however, make everyone wear shoes and I don't like for anything to touch the carpet, the bedspreads (which they never clean) or the blankets (which they don't change after every guest). And I cover the sofa with towels or an extra sheet.

If anyone puts so much as a bare toe on the floor, my head spins and I shout, "PUT YOUR SHOES ON! DO YOU KNOW HOW GROSS HOTEL CARPET IS?" The kids usually comply pretty quickly because they know that Bare Feet + Hotel Carpet = Crazy Mom.

My older boys are growing up and getting bold, though. It's obvious that they no longer fear my germaphobic wrath. On this trip, they thought it would be funny to make fun of me. They blatantly, and with total disregard for my mental health, flaunted my hotel rules. They walked on the carpet with no shoes on and then refused to wash their feet before they got in bed for the night. They tossed pillows and clothes on the floor and then used them. They sat on the carpet. They laid on the bedspreads and used the hotel blankets. They even put their toothbrushes directly on the bathroom counter instead of on the towel I had thoughtfully placed as a barrier between their toothbrushes and any lingering germs the Lysol wipe had missed.

And it didn't stop there. They were relentless. Everywhere we went, they ridiculed me.  At the putt-putt course, "Hey Mom, did you sanitize these clubs?" At the restaurant, "Hey Mom, did you wipe down the ketchup bottle?" (No, but I did use hand sanitizer after I poured my ketchup.) Pool side, "Hey Mom, did you use wipes on that chair?" Whenever I pulled out my room key, "Hey Mom, has that key been sanitized?" And then, to add insult to injury, they suggested that my Lysol wipe habit might make me a great candidate for "My Strange Addiction".

Call me a freak, but as it turns out, this article proves that my obsession is completely justified. Hotels are gross!

My kids still think I'm weird, but at least I'm not germy.